Thanksgiving Haiku – edited (again)

Last night I finally figured out what was wrong with my Thanksgiving haiku.  It was supposed to have three lines, which it did.  The first line was to have 5 syllables, which I thought it did because when I say “everywhere” it only has 3 syllables, as in the poetic ev’rywhere.  I was in bed last night trying to go to sleep when I finally figured out what the problem was, so here is my Thanksgiving haiku, one more time!

Food everywhere

made by loving, caring hands

feeds body and soul. 

I think I’m going to save poetry for the poets!

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5 Responses to Thanksgiving Haiku – edited (again)

  1. ladywise says:

    You did great CbD. I think I thought for some reason before that the count was 5-7-3. If it’s 5-7-5 you’ve got it right on and it’s a nice thought. I didn’t like all these different kinds of poems on my writing site. I like traditional poetry that is as long as you want it to be and rhymes and flows well. That’s what I write and what I enjoyed critiquing. I don’t see the sense of these different types of poetry, but to each their own.

  2. ladywise says:

    Ok, I went back and read the original post and in it you did write that the syllable counts were 5-7-3. Just a typo on your part, but that’s why I thought that the first two lines were correct and the last one wasn’t. However, I just looked up “everywhere” in the dictionary and it is actually only 3 syllables, not four so it does mess up your syllable count for the first line. So, you could amend the poem to “Food, Food, everywhere” and have the syllable count right for the first line. That’s why I don’t like this type of poetry because you loose the “poetic” part of it trying to worry about the “syllable counts” and such.

  3. Try again. This haiku is 4-7-5.
    For the final time, haiku is three lines in a 5-7-5 syllable count.

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